8.12.12

WHEN YOU ARE THE ONE WHO LOVES MORE


When you love more, when you can feel that your partner does not return so much of what is essential to you, you start to love yourself less. You see yourself as worthy only to the degree that this person whom you love so much has deemed you worthy, and if they are not loving you with as much passion or conviction as you love them, there must be something wrong with you. There is almost no fault in them which you are not ready to excuse, ready to brush over with the incredibly forgiving rendering of your admiration — and yet your flaws all become tangible, justifiable reasons for them not to be happy with you. In many ways, the more indifferent they become towards your overtures, the more resolved you become to convincing them otherwise.
Suddenly, approval and affection from your partner become the only kind of currency that matter to you — the only thing capable of convincing you that you are good and worth loving. Because so much of you has been invested in convincing them that you deserve them, if they don’t recognize it, it can feel that no one ever will.
 


Accept me for who I am
That’s all I really ask from you
Whether I make bad decisions
Or constantly face failure
You can’t alter my being
It is I who makes that decision
To change
For better or for worse
All you can really do is to be
That person
That special person who will touch my soul
Shake me to my senses
Because of your existence in this world
That flipped my switch to my world
That is full of grief, pain, sorrow
And if I believe that you’re worth it
If you become my inspiration, my muse
My love
It would be a pleasure to seek, achieve
The best me, for you
Because I know that you deserve it

I want you to feel appreciated each and every day that I’m with you. I want to show you really just how much I love you. I want to walk around and hold your hand because I’m proud to be with you. I want to plan little impromptu picnics in the park for just us two. I want to call you every single and tell you that you mean the world to me. I want to always let you know that, in my eyes, you ARE perfect. I want to lose track of time while doing nothing with you. I want to wake up early and make you breakfast. I want to lay in bed with you and sing to you. I want to wrestle with you, but I probably won’t let you win. I want to kiss you in the most crowded place we can find because again, I don’t care who sees because I love you. I want to protect you when you need me to and have your back when you hold your own. I want to show you the good things in life. I want to go on mini adventures with you. I want to show you that it’s okay to take chances. I want to woo you with terrible pick up lines when you’re feeling down. I want to slow dance with you to the music of your choice. I want to go to concerts with you. I want to stay up all night watching movies and laughing with you. I want to learn from you. I want to take care of you. I want to make you laugh at inappropriate times. I want to be the one you think of before you fall asleep at night, because that’s what you are to me. I want to open your eyes to new things, beliefs, and experiences. I want to spend the rest of my days with you and grow with you. Life without you just isn’t the same and I couldn’t think of anyone else I would want to have by my side. I will always accept you for who you are and love you no matter what. I want to gain your trust and have your family accept me. I want them to feel like I’m the best choice for you and that I’ll never let you down. I want them to know that when their son is with me that he is in safe hands and that he will be happy. I’m going to do whatever it takes to prove to them, the world, and most importantly to YOU that I’m the best choice and that I’ll love you always and forever.


THE CUTE US :P #iloveyou

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